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Chatroom F.A.Q

Stay tuned for redemption details and match ups for round two!

2 vs. 1
WINNER BY TIEBREAKER:

Napalmzonde
niichts vs. demon: niichts: The humor in yours was pulled off well as always. The ocbc satire was great however the plot was a bit all over the place, and I don't think many new to ocbc would get a good portion of the humor. I do enjoy how you portray a "generic" ocbc tourney match and the nonsense that ensues with some of them but perhaps add a bit more of your opponent's back story. Solid cartoony style overall, which is free and simple while still abstract (I particularly like how the arms are only sometimes there). Demon: A more complete and down to earth plot is a plus, longer and coloring although not shaded, was a nice touch. Perhaps in future be a bit more creative with your locales(though I know ocbc is prone to taking place in wide open fields). I do enjoy your colorful bg starbursts and action line scenes though! You got some of marinus' and ghosts downright silliness in there, with some pretty amusing expressions on Fluffy's part too!
My vote: Demon-Sheep

AshleyLange
N/A (not voting for Niichts's matches)

wolfspecter
Both Niichts and Demon-sheep did very excellent jobs on their entries. Both had good fleshed-out stories, entertaining dialog and decent panel flow. Sheep’s entry was a bit longer, and in color; but Niicht’s had lots of little details and (even though it would have been a nice idea to color it) looked good in greyscale. Sheep’s had some cleaning up to do (grit from the scanner showed, and there were some splotches of color) but Niichts was staying in his comfort zone. So in the end, both entries came out exactly equal on my judging. Oops?
My vote: Tie

Greyflame
his has to be one of the harder matches I've ever judged. It's rare that I find two opposing entries so vastly different from one another on such a fundamental level. There's a lot to like in both. Niicht's entry put quite a smile on my face, and I don't think I've seen such an effective satire of OCTs. The art is very simple, but clean and delightfully styled in a way that supports the tone. The backgrounds are pretty sparse and don't hold up quite as well as the characters, and I think true color would have added, but overall there isn't a lack of eye candy here. But really, it was the premise of the entry that had me scratching my head the most. I've been around the OCT/OCL field long enough that I had no trouble getting all the jokes. Understanding the entry wasn't a problem for me, but I'm fairly confident that people out of the OCT loop would have difficulties. That of course raises the question of who entries SHOULD be targeted to, if they should be targeted to anyone at all. Niicht's entry would certainly have most appeal to an OCT audience. I was hesitant to roll with that at first, but ultimately I decided that satire is a huge and very valid medium in all walks of life. Inside-jokes might be limited, but if you're aware of who you're presenting them to, they can be a very effective form of entertainment. So, just because this entry caters specifically to OCT goers, I feel the strong writing and art indicate a general artistic talent that could be used effectively for any audience.

Sheep's entry was sort of the opposite in terms of audience. The story would be understood about the same by most any reader I think. That said, I had a bit harder time putting this one together. It's a heftier entry with a fair bit going on, but I ended up missing various pieces of the puzzle. Reading back over again and checking the ref sheet helped clarify some things. I think things would flow better with some rearrangement. Smaller panels that show more would be good. For example, at one point there were three panels that took up a big chunk of my screen, and all they showed was a foot, a fish, and an eye. Zooming out would help convey more information about where the characters are and what they're doing. Avoid closeups until this information has been well established.

This one took a fair bit of thought for me. Sheep's entry was considerably more hefty, with full color and a substantial amount of happenings, but I felt Niicht's entry was the smoother read; it packed a lot of punch for its size, and gets my vote this time.

SamuraiHaruko
Niichts' entry is easier to follow more than Demonsheepstudio's. I understood all the jokes in Niichts entry, though it doesn't seem fair to those who haven't seen much of OCBC to understand most of them. Like always you seem to always have a creative use of your panels. As for Demonsheepstudio, I was a bit lost in it. The action seemed a bit rushed but it's nice to see more of an interaction between the characters. Both entries are completely different and it hard to say. Niichts' greys were easier on the eyes for me, but I was more captivated by those solid colors of Demon's. Demon please be careful with the size of your panels, also try experimenting with other shapes instead of just rectangle and squares. It would make your action sequences more engaging for the reader.

Even if I am the tiebreaker for you two, I felt both entries got positives and negatives. Humor can go a long way in an entry. Sometimes less is better in an entry, but it depends on how you handle that sort of situation. Demon had a lot going on and Niichts was well "generic." Probably the longest, I wish I could have gotten to judge earlier, but since I don't have the time to think - I might as well choose. My vote goes to Niichts.

vs. (forfeited)
WINNER:

napalmzonde
Zil: It is a shame that your opponent did not submit when you went and put together such a thorough entry. Your action, coloring and line work was good, the only issue I have is that some of the action scenes could use a bit more oomph to them(eg. page 3 on "Two, Three and Four-ah!" I think Jao could be bending down at the hips more after having jumped on Enzio's hand, and on "three!" to show more power, and on "Fou-ah!" if you bend the body like a ">" shape it can show more force and impact. However on the next page you get right in there with Enzio's massive hit. That was a very powerful scene. You then end it quite cute-ly. Overall great work and I would love to see your next battle!

Maikeruu: Comeon dude, at least let your opponent know in advance if you're forfeiting, that isn't cool.

AshleyLange
Work on your scale and proportion. Strange fight motivation. Doesn't explain much about why children have superpowers or that the world is different in a way that children having superpowers is expected. Nice character interaction.

wolfspecter
This entry was quite enjoyable to read. The story was entertaining, the panels flowed together quite well, and the little epilogue tied up everything quite nicely. There were a few anatomical problems, mostly centering around hands and feet, but they didn't detract too much from the overall piece.
I think what could have improved it a bit is to vary the line thickness-it gives more dynamic and helps highlight important parts and scenes.
(Also... careful when doing geometric shapes. It's hard to get something like windows or fence panels even, but worth the effort)
Overall it was a very nice piece, the characters interacted very well and I'll be looking forward to your next entry!

Greyflame
Really quite a shame this was a forfeit match. Your entry was nicely done. Good backgrounds, color, anatomy, and it was pretty easy to follow. The transform sequence was maybe a little too subtle, as I had to go back to notice it. It also took me a little while to figure out the "judges watching" bit, but otherwise everything seems pretty well in order. Keep it up.

4 vs. 0
WINNER:

napalmzonde
Kscat: First off the cover is very nice, simple/clean and a lil creepy. I notice when you added some color to their hair it was much more easy to distinguish Avrie and Vivi, which facilitated the reading and understanding of your comic. However just a word on char design, maybe try and keep a more stable way that you draw a character's face so that they can be more distinguishable from each other as opposed to anime-girl 1 and 2) This may be a bit difficult with your style (which I really like by the way(it's almost like a mix between anime (Vivi's first appearance on Page 5) and 1950's American sorta cartoons( like Azrie's first appearance on page four))) Just perhaps try to keep it more consistent so that they can be more recognizable (like a particular eye style or face shape) Otherwise great style, the action could use a bit more power (like where bird-guy gets spiked, but you pull it together to make an enjoyable story.
Orange: Pencil and markers aren't always seen here, but you do a good job of removing the initial lines(if you use them) because it looks really clean. A suggestion for penciled work; after you scan it in if you have photoshop try adjusting the Levels so that the pencil comes out darker, and plan ahead for where text should be, because it is a bit difficult to read in some places, like pg 4 , you shouldn't have to have it in your comments. Your colors are excellent in some places and glaring in others. For instance, on page 4 your sky is very overbearing, perhaps if you could soften it to a lighter pink. On page 5 your sky and ground and water are much better because it doesn't look as "scribbly" and uses smoother strokes. I think that if you are going to do penciled work that you color and then scan you might be best off with a watercolor-like coloring style or soft crayon/pastels(like you used for bg's hair), or even not colored at all. Also on Page 5, perhaps establish the tree before Az crashes into it. Your style seems to even out at Page 8, during the conversation, where I think your best style and coloring come out, the selective use of color is appropriate there, rather than attempting to color an entire background. Nice penciling though and cute ending, clean and cute expressions all throughout.
My vote: Kscat

AshleyLange
kscat5220
Nice cover. Abrupt start; it's unclear where your characters are.
Too many shoulders-up and closeup shots. Try to use a full-body shot when a new character appears or when an importion action occurs. Avoid using the fill-tool for coloring; there's a visible ugly rim between the colors and lines. Nice interaction between characters; an interesting read.
orangerose
Some hard to read text. Avoid using colored speech bubbles; it's just obscuring the text. Again, a neat relationship between the characters makes this fun to read, but it's a bit shorter and less fleshed out than your opponent's.
MY VOTE: kscat5220 for A more in-depth story.

wolfspecter
Both entries portrayed the dream world slightly differently. I liked each portrayal equally, Orangerose having a slightly colorful Dr. Suess-esque world (complete with a hot-pink and purple sky), and KsCat's black and white version with a few creepy pieces of scenery. Both of them had nice, happy endings that didn't necessarily spell "defeat" to their opponent, but still wrapped up the story nicely.
Orangerose’s entry was certainly eye-catching with all the bright colors. The story made sense, and the coloring and quality was consistent.
The main problem was the text. Pencil on top of hot pink does not show up well, and a few panels I had to squint REALLY hard to be able to tell what was being said. It was unfortunately very distracting from the story.
KScat’s entry was very clean and easy to understand; and even though it was only in black and white, the little splashes of color were a nice addition and made the piece more interesting. The main thing was that there were those lovely white lines around the lineart when you fill it in. It’s always good to go back and get rid of those, to make the piece look neater.
Both entries were equal in readability, and for the most part in length. They were both very entertaining. In the end though, KScat’s won because of the larger amount of action-y poses, the different scenery, and Orangerose’s problem of having some hard-to-read text. It was very close however, and I’m happy both contestants put a lot of effort into their pieces.
My vote: kscat5220

Greyflame
Both entries here took a relatively similar approach story wise. Both were fairly straightforward, along with being some of the easier entries to follow.
Cat's entry was pretty clean and the selective color helped with clarity, but be careful when using partial color in this way. It can bring unwanted attention to what ISN'T colored. Also avoid panels where you have to tell the reader what they're looking at; for example, the "Bird Guy's View" panel could probably have been redone so that you show him above the two girls at an angle that it looks clearly like she's being strangled to the reader as well. That's not the only solution, but in general it will be worth it to convey things visually rather then textually in comics.
Orange's entry had more developed coloring, but wasn't quite as clean. Make sure to add some weight and rigidity to panels (unless you want to take a more abstract approach to paneling, which can be an adventure in itself); draw them in with a ruler and fill in some space between the panels. The text was also difficult to read at some points, mostly because of the color behind it. If you're going to leave color behind text and do colored bubbles, make sure that the colors are light enough that they don't overwhelm the text.
As a note for both of you, I recommend cutting down on closeup panels. Though they weren't too abused since showing more visually wasn't quite as important for what they entries were going for, it will usually look better to zoom out for more of the panels.
My vote for this match goes to Kscat. Though similar in story to its opposition, it felt a little more organized with one event leading smoothly into the next, and tighter on the technicals. Good work to both of you.

4 vs 0
WINNER:

napalmzonde
Happy: Your first page is nice, I particularly like the background's fade to clack to signify the hole. I like the absence of light, it really makes you pay attention to what's going on, but sometimes it does get a bit difficult to see(When Mashtide says "This calls for a lil assistance") but on the next page your art style can be really appreciated, it does get a bit sketchy at parts but it really shows an attention to detail. Great backgrounds, and variation of scenes, and expressions are well done particularly Emily's on the last page. Nice work!
Arte: You have a very nice style in the beginning, but it is a shame that you ran out of time because this battle has great potential(The chess theme is a great idea with a child genius), and I could see a lot of ways that you could go with that. One thing, try to put a background establishing scene in the first part before that game just so that ocbc isn't occurring in some sort of void of nothingness. I can see your style is good on the first drawing of Wolf, and on some of your sketches later on, so just try to allocate your time better and improve the quality of your art gradually once you have the entire story sketched out, because it was disappointing not being able to experience your ending. I strongly encourage you to enter Redemption, I want you back in this tourney.
My vote: Happy-Vamil

AshleyLange
Happy-Vamil
Much too dark. Very difficult to see what's happening.The text changes styles constantly; the drawings are very small and indistinct. What happened isn't clear.
Arte-San
Started off okay, but faded at the end. Very confusing. More text should be in bubbles. Strange panel layout. Not sure what happened.
MY VOTE: Happy-Vamil for more completion.

wolfspecter
Arte-san’s entry started out with inked and slightly colored in panels, then just inked, then just pencils, then just sketches. The quality drop was very severe. It’s a common trap to fall into for many people, but still discouraging and distracting when looking at an entry. Even your re-done entry still dropped in quality as it went along (granted, not as much). The concept was very nice, and the style of your entries started out great. I would have liked to see the story finished to completion.
That being said, Happy-Vamil’s entry may have only been black-and-white pencil, but it stayed just about the same quality the whole way through. It did look a little rushed, but the ending was cute. For that reason, I think that entry deserved to win a bit more.
(I think next time, you might want to clean up your pencils a bit; sometimes the smudging made it a little confusing)

Greyflame
Judging by the entries and a quick scan of both of your comments, it appears time became a significant issue for both of you. Unfortunately, it shows; I simply couldn't follow either of the entries. Both were reasonably solid on things such as anatomy, it was mostly just the cleanup and storytelling stages were both struggled. The characters floated in void-space a lot without any real setup of their location with backgrounds or story with a clear sequence of events. While Arte's start was a little easier to understand, Happy's entry was more substantial and consistent overall, and takes my vote. Make sure both of you use your time wisely in the future rounds, and tap more of that potential.

vs. (forfeited)
WINNER:

napalmzonde
Kenken: You did an amazing job capturing your opponent's character in his expressions and mannerisms. Also you created a beautiful cover and first page in terms of shading and coloring. Zipper is very cat-like in your piece (pouncing and leaping and sneaking up on people) Yours was short and feel-good, and you used that to keep your style and quality good. You have a good eye for perspective and proportions as well, great work.
Double-pensword: I hope you notified you opponent in a timely manner. I encourage you to enter Redemption, but so long as you know that you have the time and dedication.

Ashleylange
Poor font choices. You need to use bubble tails or something to let us know who's saying the dialog. Also, get someone who's fluent in English to grammar check for you before you submit. Could use some anatomy work, particularly on legs.

wolfspecter
This was a nice, quick, straightforward entry with a clear ending. I enjoyed it quite a bit, though I do wish that the coloring had been carried through the entire entry. Also on the same note, careful not to overuse the softness on brushes, sometimes a hard edge works better for certain things. Other than that, it was a very nice simple entry.

Greyflame
Well, a forfeit win so nothing to say comparison wise of course. As far as Ken's entry goes, most things seem in order. The art is pretty, and the ending was clever. My biggest qualm this time was with the introductory portion of the piece. I simply couldn't understand what was going on (I had a similar problem with the audition piece.) It seemed to require a significant degree of outside knowledge of the specific characters and context; and furthermore, the speech bubbles are too often disconnected from the characters, which led to me spending a fair bit of time trying to figure out who was saying what. The actual battle portion of the entry flowed smooth enough, but make sure the other parts keep up to par in clarity.

0 vs. 4
WINNER:

napalmzonde
Insane: It looks like you did your entry mostly in pen, which is fine because you do have a good grasp of proportion and still give it a silly feel. The issue that I have with that is that on both pages the speedlines overpower the actual characters and text because of their thickness and I can't really tell what is happening on the first page on the 7th and 8th panels. Try doing speedlines in a thinner pen and using a ruler for uniformity, and also on the second page try to get rid of the original pencilling as much as you can, it'll help it look cleaner/more finished. As for the content, it was a pretty simple story, nothing wrong with it, and a bit amusing.
Tobi: Though short you have a very good grasp of technique. I particularly how you included different "styles" in your piece, such as a dark bg with a white ouline around the character versus lined art with just enough shading. There were one or two scenes that could have been clarified, like the one where Jail catches the bullet with the scissors and shoots it back maybe could have been shown better, but other scenes like the first time he dodges a bullet by vaulting came out excellently. It looked good and read well, while giving a bit of backstory too.
My vote: Tobrankai

Ashleylange
insanefastone
Study some published comics; your layout is very strange. The panels are too small and are difficult to follow. Avoid using triangular panels. The linework is very rough. Seems rushed.
tobirankai
Tall speech bubbles are meant for Japanese, not English; try to widen them so there's more than one or two words on each line. Several poses are stiff. Avoid profile shots during action sequences. It's annoying how Guy announces everything your character does. We should be able to tell by what you draw.
MY VOTE: tobirankai for more effort.

wolfspecter
Insanefastone’s entry was very short and cute. The ending was a nice way to end the fight without killing anyone (despite being a bit expected). The presentation however, wasn’t all that great. The lines just looked… lazy. If you had connected the panel outlines, and changed some line thicknesses (instead of having the speedlines take the focus of the whole picture) then I think you would have faired better.
As it is, Tobirankai wins this round. There was more pose variety, (including more action-y poses), and even though a bit sloppy in parts, is made a lot more dynamic and neat-looking via the coloring. The length was also significantly longer, but that didn’t have quite as much bearing as simply the appearance of the comic.
That’s not to say that there wasn’t a few problems with Tobi’s entry. Indeed, some of the panels were much clearer than others, and at some points the coloring looked a bit sloppy. But overall, it looked more cleaned up and therefore, won this round.
My vote: tobirankai

Greyflame
First and foremost I'm going to start with a point I think needs to be really emphasized: Writing comics right to left is generally a bad idea. It's not hugely detrimental, but it's an easy to fix thing which I see abused too often. Remember that English is a left to right language and flows most naturally in that direction. Also, the requirement of adding a "Read this direction" note distracts the reader and uses up space.
But anyways, onto more important things. Insane's entry was fairly clear after the first several panels, and I liked how the rock/paper/scissors gig was related to your opponent's choice of weaponry - it helped smooth out what might otherwise have been a rather forced conclusion. The early setup did detriment though. Remember that when starting a comic, the reader has no idea who's involved or where the characters are in space and time. Zoom out and give a clear shot of the entire scene early on - within the first couple panels. I also had to squint to make sense of most of the linework. Try to treat each panel as its own work of art. I glanced at your gallery; if each panel had been up to the quality of your colored work, the comic would have been a lot stronger.
Tobi's entry read without any real hitch. It could stand to be cleaner, but was refined enough to make it an easy read. The scissors were also used well in the fight. It was the setup for the fight that I felt needed the most work in the entry. While reasonably presented, there wasn't a lot to make the entry stand out story wise from other common OCT plots. Paper's with the opponent's name, narration on who the characters are willing to fight, accidental and coincidental provocation ("I don't like it when anyone touches my tail") are sort of overused plot devices. Branch out a little and use the character's unique traits to create a plot that's equally unique.
My vote goes to Tobi for a more comprehensive and refined entry.

vs. (forfeited)
WINNER:

napalmzonde
Max: A great, action-packed entry, it is clear that you have a very strong understanding of comicking and how to put together good fight scenes and story. Page 1, great perspective work and creating a feeling of depth, only thing is maybe in the fifth frame Paige's hand could maybe be a bit bigger as it's in the foreground. Also, I think your sketches are actually better than when you go over them with lines like on the cover. Personally I feel that this entry contained more emotion and raw expression than your audition or the cover simply because it wasn't gone over again, and you get the chance to see what was going on in your head when you drew it. I really like her card-drawing and the subtle way you show what they arem that really makes the audience go back to read it, rather than a panel which features what it is. Expressions were top-notch, especially the panel when Paige's wings emerge and then when she screams. The lack of text also works really well, and keeps the action going. It was a really fun read and it's a shame that your opponent did not submit something considering the quality, in this entry.
Shadow: You opponent spent the time to draw an entry of your character, it would be honorable to do the same

Ashleylange
A pity your opponent forfeited; this would have been beautiful when finished. Good luck next time.

wolfspecter
The title page was very nicely done. I would have liked to see some sort of dialog thrown into the sketched out pages though, as some parts were a bit difficult to follow with just pictures. Though it still made sense after another read-through. All in all, very nice, dynamic entry. Was a shame it wasn’t inked/colored.

Greyflame
Max's entry appears to be unfinished in both content and polish, but something is always better than nothing of course, and what's here certainly has a lot of potential. I can't remark much on the story as there isn't a ton to remark on, but considering it was a WIP, I was still able to pick things up right away. Though I didn't know why the characters were fighting, it was never uncertain who was doing what. Lots of potential here; I'm looking forward to something more finished next round.

2 vs. 3
WINNER:

napalmzonde
Star: It looks like your entry was scanned and then colored. If so, I would suggest this tutorial [link] for cleaning up you work so that the bg isn't grey and so that your lines will still stand out. That particular one helped me when scanning drawn images. If you don't have PS you can get a free program and do the same because it looks a little awkward that only some parts are colored on top of the background being grey. If you do not have a tablet I would suggest getting one or not even coloring anything but rather focusing on making your characters more realistic looking through pencil shading. Also [link] is a good help on perspective, because the fourth scene on the first page and fifth scene on the second page could use some work in terms of creating depth. The plot was simple, but I wasn't sure what was going on with the washing machines on pg 2 scene 5 and some of Kaiya's expressions on pg 3 scene 8 and 10 could use work. I encourage you to keep at it and you will improve in comicking with time
Ouro: A more involved plot helps you, and you get across Plagu's evil-ness rather well. I got the irony in a rat trapping a human, which was amusing too. Just a few things with your coloring style. The little white areas around your blocks of color and comic boxes make it look a bit unprofessional. If this was done in MS Paint then I would suggest not coloring in it in the future. I myself have had many issues with paint, and the ability to not isolate your lines from color may be the reason for those areas. Also, I'd establish a background as the first scene and moreso throughout the entry rather than just mentioning warehouse 1. Plagu's expressions were fine, but maybe work on Kaiya's a bit especially on the top of the second page, she doesn't really come across as looking too surprised there, perhaps raise her eyebrows and contract her pupils a bit more. You have pretty good story and you always have very creative characters, and I think if you'd had more time you'd have made a more involved plot but maybe work on your technique and body proportions for the next round.
My vote: Ouro

Ashleylange
Starocean85
Several issues here. Use a gutter around your panels; aka, don't let the side of the page count as a panel border. Use a more readable font (I recommend Anime Ace) and speech bubbles around the text. Some use of scenery would help. I'm not sure why the washing machine acted how it did, or why the poison didn't affect your character. Very sudden ending.
OuroborosI
Avoid using the 'fill tool' for coloring; there are a lot of pixelized areas in yours. Study proper comma use. Again, a sudden ending.
MY VOTE: OuroborosI for making more sense.

wolfspecter
I’m a little disappointed in both entries. Both of them look rather sloppy and quickly done.
Ouroborosi: Your entry was fully colored, and that’s a plus. It had the makings of a good plot. Unfortunately, it wasn’t too well executed. The colors don’t entirely reach to the lines, and in a few parts, it just looks plain rushed. There’s no shading either. And while this would be somewhat excusable had you run all the way to the deadline, you had plenty of time with the extension to make the entry more visually interesting, add dynamic and more shading. The failure to go back and tweak your entry is what cost you this round.
Starocean85: You had quite a few more action-y poses, and a few more panels. But the fact that you kept coloring in different things each time made the entry look sloppy. A word of advice would be to only color in the same things each time, therefore it makes it more like you were AIMING for that look, rather than it kind of looking a bit odd. You won this round because you tried a few different things, but I would step it up a notch again if you want to move further in this competition.

Greyflame
I spent a fair amount of time thinking about this match, and had to go back and forth a couple times before coming to a conclusion. While Star's entry was more conclusive, Ouro's was considerably easier to follow. Star's entry makes a lot of references to things introduced in neither the audition or round 1 pieces. This can be okay if they're used as a lure, with the core of the plot making sense, but in this case the information in question seems critical to understanding what's happening. Remember that the reader only has your audition and some general audience knowledge (something I talk about in an earlier critique), so take the time to set up who your character is, what they can do, and what they're facing. That said ... The actual fight within the entry is straightforward enough that it got through. I guess my point with this long winded speech is that even though there's a lot I don't understand in Star's entry, there's enough for me to call it a conclusive story with a definite conflict. Both entries could about equal cleaning up art wise, so my vote goes to Star for a more complete entry.

SamuraiHaruko
Quality is always something you should pay attention too. It helps when following and entry. Star, try using speech bubbles and preferably better font , such as Anime Ace or Digital Strip. (You can find these here: [link]) The blue font blends into the grey black ground. Ouro, I have an idea of where you colored you entry, it makes the entry look a little sloppy because you can see it pixelated near the lineart. Please, if you do intend to keep coloring it like this, just fill in those tiny little squares. If not, traditional is always a fun way to go. Also, try putting in some backgrounds because to me it seems they are in a giant white box with no surroundings. Star, your panel arrangement confused me in the beginning and made me have to look over the page again to understand what went where. Try explaining why the washing machine was going crazy, because I had no idea. ouroborosI gets my voted for making more sense.

vs. (forfeited)
WINNER:

MostAcidic: You've got great action scenes in your entry and your sparing yet poignant use of color is well applied. This is one of the more creative backgrounds of this round, which gets props because bg's are usually largely last minute decisions. Perspective was pretty good, except for scene 6 on page 1, but the camera angling that you use in the scene previous is very good. Another thing I've noticed is that your human-drawing skills have improved dramatically. The hard lines that you've used in the past to almost over define people's noses and faces are now less pronounced making for smoother definition and better distinction between your human and anthro characters. Your story was engaging and I fully enjoyed. Considering your opponents forfeiture I am glad that you still submitted even after the deadline, that shows dedication, which earns props. Great job.
Secchanfan: You're making judging easier for me but at the expense of your character! I was sad that you didn't submit anything.

Ashleylange
Sloppy text; don't let it touch the sides of the bubbles. See through bubbles are also difficult to read. Several blank backgrounds. Avoid using colored text bubbles. Brilliant action poses as always, but you always have excellent action and the rest stays the same. Try to have a comic that's half the length and twice as finished next time.

wolfspecter
This entry had a lot of good action, and the flow of the story was very nice. There were a few parts that I had to read twice to understand, but it’s still pretty good. The problem here would be that some panels look like they were made with more care than others. Try adding in details and cleaning up panels, even if they’re only headshots or talking. If you do that; with the already very nice fighting scenes, you should have a pretty awesome entry.

Greyflame
Excellent entry here; it's a shame it had to go down as a forfeit win. It's sketchier than your audition (especially that first page, which really stood out as falling below the quality of the other pages), but still holds up pretty well. I was concerned at first that the story would be lost at me, but between your audition piece the development later in the entry, I was able to put everything together and was rather pleased with how substantial the story was, especially for a first round entry. Most distracting was probably the speech bubbles and text. Avoid colored bubbles or try to keep the colors subtle; and make sure text is well centered and doesn't collide with the edges. I'd also stick with opaque bubbles unless you go full color. The combat was also a bit tricky to follow, but not enough to significantly impair my enjoyment of the entry. Great work; I'm looking forward to your future work.

vs. (forfeited)
WINNER:

napalmzonde
SSB: Your story was pretty interesting and I'm glad you chose black and white rather than color. You do a good job of reinforcing the background, particularly in the beginning. However I would like to see your characters interacting more with the environment and having it be included in more scenes, but not interfering with the foreground. I like your clear text and flow but perhaps you would want to vary the physical style of your panels more so that they grab the audience's attention more rather than just having square after square. It'll help you also know what to focus on in the frame. One more thing on character differentiation, like I said before people are different and have different shaped faces and eyes and body builds. You do a good job of that with the gang members but maybe change it up a bit with people's eyes and nose styles. Also, maybe give your characters eyebrows? That's completely up to you and your style, which I know tend to lean more towards the cartoon aspect but they help tremendously with expressions and conveying feelings. Good entry, I like the effort you put into it and it is a shame you went unmatched this round.
Nisassa: Hopefully you can make it up in some way to SSB.

Ashleylange
Poor text. Make sure there's enough space around the letters with the bubbles. Very wobbly lines and plain backgrounds. Needs much anatomy work. Lots of very similar waist-up shots. The characters look very similar to one another. The backgrounds disappear after some time and it's very jarring.

wolfspecter
This had a very good, well-fleshed out story. The quality stayed the same throughout, and there wasn’t too much dialog or empty space (which is often a problem with lineart-only entries). I think though, that it would be a good idea to steady your hand a bit, the lineart gets very shaky in some parts, and it would look a LOT better if it was steadier. Overall though, It was a very nice entry with a good ending.

Greyflame

Things pick up pretty directly from your audition piece, which is a boon for your story flow. Things also mesh pretty well with what your opponent was setting up in their audition. The inking is clean if wobbly, and overall I think the art suffices for telling the story. The expressions are good, but the anatomy needs work in several areas; using refs for even a mirror and taking the time on it can work wonders.

3 vs. 2
WINNER:

napalmzonde
B4k4: You have pretty good line work B4k4, however some of your entry was difficult to read. When you scan it, if you have Photoshop you can use it to increase the levels and darken those lines. Your story is pretty easy to follow, but it was pretty much a meet and fight sort of thing, not too in depth though you did showcase your opponents abilities well. You have differentiation in your panelling and your pose work is pretty good too(pg 2 Pat's punch, Page 1, last panel) but there are certain body parts that could use a bit more work. For instance, as Pat is barefoot, his feet( pg 1 panel 3 and pg 2 panels 3 and 5) are some areas that could use work. [link] that should help with getting the shape down better. Also your faces are great, except when seen from profile view(the side)(last page last panel). Your foreheads and upper head areas tend to be a bit small and the eyes a bit high, also defining the nose lips and mouth from profile view helps your face look like the mouth isn't pasted onto it, (rather than a straight line from the lower nose to the chin). However you have great character design and story.
Kyde: You have a good story here, I enjoy the background Kyde gives and it makes your entry more in depth. Your art style is fine, though some of your poses are a bit stiff here and there(Page 5, scene 1, 1st page 3rd scene)and I cannot tell what page 4 is about. You do lack an establishing shot, and instead mention the bar only in the text, which I am happy to see was typed, though when it comes to comics it helps to show rather than tell. Your coloring style was fine but a bit random(1st pg 1st scene), and if that was your establishing shot I cannot tell what it was. I do like how you colored the water(beautiful color) but personally when it comes to coloring some of a comic I feel it is usually better to color some pages rather than certain areas while leaving other b+w. For instance on page 7, the lightning would have complemented a darker bg, but the blue and yellow just seems a bit too harsh, and the white of the wall and of Kyde make it look too vivid. I think that, with a good shading job on that page it would have been more effective than coloring and I'd suggest to maybe reference how water and lightning move to portray them more realistically.
My vote: B4k4

Ashleylange
B4k4-Sakana
No shown motivation for the fight (remember, OCBC isn't inherintly a fighting tournament, though it wasn't mentioned anyway.) You need some anatomy work. The dialog's cliche. The text is hard to read in places. Make your lines darker or ink them next time and I'd like to see more backgrounds.
Kyle-Drakes
Stiff drawings. Poor font choice. Needs more backgrounds. Some very small, strange panels. The camera angle was always the same.
MY VOTE: Kyle-Drakes for a more natural story.

wolfspecter
B4k4: The story had good flow, but it took a couple times reading through to understand it. That’s not all due to just the paneling either, which is a shame. Your lines ended up being too light, and very hard to read. Next time, try to darken the lines, and make SURE your text is readable. It was what cost you this round, despite the pretty good anatomy.
Kyde-drakes: Okay, your lines were nice and clear, and your panel flow was good as well. The text was easy to tell apart, and there was a clear win. Unfortunately, the photoshopped-in effects were a bit… off. They made certain parts somewhat confusing, and didn’t look very good. I’d advise next time, try and simplify them to fit your style, and make sure to reference what you’re trying to re-create. Or draw in the effects with pencil so it goes with the rest of the entry. It was the panel and story flow that won you this round.
My vote: Kyle-drakes

Greyflame
While Kyle's entry was longer on the page count, I felt Sakana's had a little more substance to it. This was mostly due to the reliance on text in Kyle's entry. Some information is often best presented through dialogue or narration, but things like "Now that we're out of the bar" are implausible for a character to say or think. Changes of scene should be shown through backgrounds. If the characters are in a bar, draw a bar, complete with everything related to one; drinks, customers, games, tables, lights, etc. And if they're going to leave, show that too. The more you convey information through detailed and comprehensive visuals, the stronger your entry will be. Sakana's entry didn't have as much character development, with things leaping immediately into a fight. Motivations are hinted at but never really expanded upon.
Sakana bit off a little less with his entry, but the art was more developed and the plot easier to follow. That, and more effective use of the visual medium, earns Sakana my vote.

SamuraiHaruko
Sakana, inking would make the lines more visiable and puting font would make it easier to read. Almost all of it was hard to read because of this issue. As for, Kyle's entry, it was heavily wordy. it had a lot of text but not enough images for the text to have it equally balanced. Backgrounds are also another thing to have, please practice drawing backgrounds, don't get lazy. Both of you should should please ink your lines and choose better font. Font shouldn't be to flashy because the color will distract you from the art. My vote goes to Sakana.

vs (forfeited)
WINNER:

napalmzonde

Rara: I like your use of establishing shots, background, typed text and minimalistic use of color without it being overbearing. Your style is flowing and fun. Certain parts look a bit rushed and undetailed (pg 2 scene 1) but other show alot of work (pg 3 scenes 3 and five) and even a bit of line stroking(done in PS I assume. One comment on eyes: if you are going to give a character big anime eyes then you may as well give them the good stuff ( pupils/ highlights) cause if you leave that out the space looks empty,( and the point of big eyes is to create expression thru the highlights and shines and etc.), so take advantage of that. Some of your action may be a bit stiff (Page 3 after" But then what could it be?"), like a gunshot with that type of hold would usually jerk the gun up more with the torso more straight( try looking for references for those poses), but for the most part your action scenes were good. I enjoyed the story, and it was a shame that your opponent did not submit.
Balrogon: Don't do me any favors by not submitting. I would have enjoyed to read your entry.
My vote: Rara

Ashleylange
The bubbles have odd placement which leads the reader to read them in the wrong order; use connecting bridges between bubbles when a character says two lines in one panel. Try not to let the text touch the corners of panels. Difficult to tell what's going on in the second part. Use a better-looking font than comic-sans. Avoid using ~ in text as it is an internet meme and is juvenile. "it's" is not possessive; it's "it is". Too much text.

wolfspecter
The dialog and panel-flow in this were very good. There was plenty of explanation into the “Indicators”. I wish there had been more explanation into everything else though; and it’s too bad the entry drops in quality. Especially because it was a bit hard to understand what was going on in some of the sketchy parts. To help with readability, I’d suggest cleaning up the entry next time. Other than that, good story and nice way to leave a cliffhanger.

Greyflame
Avis: A glance at your comments reveals that you had some trouble with time, but rushed or not something is better than nothing. You had quite a bit here, but I had a hard time getting into it and making sense of everything. The amount of text you have in comparison to the visuals is very intimidating for a comic. Remember to keep things streamlined, and avoid going into hefty narration. A concise but clear entry is almost always better than something long but muddled.

4 vs. 0
WINNER:

napalmzonde
Panda: Ohoho, the cover made me chuckle right off the bat. Your expressions are hilarious throughout the entry for all the characters(Pg 1, My shop, my pants, my face!), which really made it a pleasure to read. And even in your second page where it becaomes sketches I can still follow what is going on. Couldn't really find much to criticize except on page 1 where Shinji is going to burn the shopkeeper he has 6 fingers. But your movements are fluid and your story is entertaining to read. Humor is great(Alien Constituency 6) and you capture your opponents character very well. Great entry.
Az: Another entry with a lot of laughs. ("If I die, I'm so haunting you for eternity") Props for being able to shade and tone your entire entry, I know how difficult that can be, and you use the lights and shadows to your advantage.(Page 5) However there are a few things about style. There is occasionally a bit of empty space which in a comic should usually be filled with details or such.(last page, scene 2, and like the ocbc building on page 2, it looks like more of a box than a building). Nice job on the car, but in the last panel on page one the steering wheel looks a bit odd. You did have a good story and a good ending, which sort of brought the whole thing into perspective by adding the artist, and it is great to see that you are using the references on DA to learn how to do those screen tones. That is initiative and that is great to see, just keep at it!
My vote: Pandachu

Ashleylange
Pandachu
Small panels, simplistic backgrounds. Far too many close-ups; action shots should get more space to be shown. The end seemed like an inside joke (even though I've seen District 9; it wasn't clear who you and your opponent were). Very nice interaction between characters. Use a better-looking font than comic sans.
azkophael
Text is incredibly small and download size is too large. I'm not sure what happens on page 2; the globe looks like it was taken from another source. Unclear action and ending. Uninteresting dialog. Very barren and laden with photoshop effects.
MY VOTE: Pandachu for an entertaining, original story.

wolfspecter
Azkopheal: I’d like to say that I commend you drawing a car. They’re very difficult to get right. The panel flow up until the fight-scene is pretty good. But that’s where it kinda breaks apart. I know what happened, but the last two pages are kind of a bit odd, cliffhanger or not. Also, you overused the gradient tool a little bit, which is really a no-no. So even though it was a pretty good entry, those two things cost you the win.
Pandachu: I enjoyed the title page. And the first page of the comic. The story was quite entertaining and funny. But it was unfortunate the quality dropped at the end. Even so, the entertainment was still good, and the panel flow was excellent. So in the end, even though the quality dropped, it was still understandable enough to win.

Greyflame
Both entries have a similar problem here. They start out pretty strong, then trail off significantly in the later half; albeit for different reasons. Panda's simply isn't finished, while Azko's becomes confusing and I can't really tell IF it's finished. There's some pretty good writing to be had on both sides. Panda's first half is very humorous, and Azko has some good characterization going on. I particularly enjoyed reading Panda's entry, though the District 9 references were lost on me as I haven't seen said movie yet (which is always a risk run with relying as much on a specific reference). The 4th wall jumping sort of mixed me up in both cases. With more finish and shine I think both entries could have stood out a lot more.
My vote for this round goes to Panda, mostly for the humorous candy-shop antics of the first half of the entry, which hold up reasonably well even without the second half.

Affiliated with:


First place:
A chibi by `Endling (purchased and donated by a club member)
A "surprise" donated by *SamuraiHaruko
Art donated by *Niichts
A three month sub donated by *JigenSuzuki

Second place:
Art donated by ~Pinumbra
Art donated by *Niichts
A one month sub donated by *JigenSuzuki

Third place:
Art donated by *kumori13
Art donated by ~thezidane